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Blood, Sweat & Tears – 05 – And When I Die – YouTube

In September of 1969 The band Blood, Sweat and Tears released the single When I Die. (Written and first recorded by Laura Nyro). I’ve included the link here should you want to give it a listen.

Being honest, I was never a big fan of their music or this song.  But like much of the music of my youth, the words of lots of songs have stayed in the recesses of my memory.  People I meet or circumstances around me will often spur one or more of these tunes to the forefront.  Such it is today with this particular song as I contemplate the crisis that has befallen us concerning the Corona virus/Convid-19

Though I realize I’ve written here before of my clearer understanding that I am closer to the end of my life at 60 than I am to its beginning, for the most part this remains an abstract idea to me.  Yes, I know what comes to each one of us.  It’s just that my Doctor says I’m in pretty good shape (for the shape I’m in) and truthfully, I’m not ready to go into the ever after just yet.

I also know that as a Christian pastor, I am to be helping folks come to their own grip with life, death and after-life.  Part of that is to bear witness to the fact that I am completely assured of my forever home because of the faith I have in Jesus Christ.  And I do have total trust that the Lord died to forgive sinners in order that we might have our eternal fate sealed in Him.  I do try to faithfully carry this message of God’s love in all I do.

Hence, my struggle as I hear this verse play in my head again:

I’m not scared of dying

            And I don’t really care

            If it’s peace you find in dying,

            Well, then let the time be near

With apologies to David Clayton-Thomas (lead singer of Blood Sweat and tears) and simply stated, I am scared of dying.  Notice I didn’t say I was frightened of what comes after I die.  What I am afraid of is facing the process of dying.  My track record on handling pain and discomfort is not so good.  This makes me worry that I may face my end times with less dignity than I ought.

Also, like so many, I have people in my life that are very dear to me.  The thought of this pandemic bringing them suffering and death shakes me to my core.  Along with this comes the dark thought of what my life would be like without them in it should this happen.

Blessedly, the assurance of the Scriptures bring more than enough comfort to deflate the fears I have.  I share some of these now in case you are experiencing any fear because of this current crisis.

Psalm 23:4 reminds us: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  I let that sink in again today: the God of the Universe is with me! Certainly circumstances are uncomfortable at best and dangerous at worse, but God is with us no matter what!

Jesus reminds us that we will face trouble in this life: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33 NIV). The Savior Jesus Christ, the embodiment of all truth, tells us we will have trouble in this life.  But more importantly, He also assures us that He has overcome any and all things that want to prevail against us.  Though personally I would have preferred Jesus to tell us we would have no troubles at all in this life, I realize how quickly I would forget all about Him if I never struggled with things.  The emphasis needs to be seen in that Jesus has overcome! I find great peace in that today, no matter the chaos going on around me.

There are countless other Scriptures to help us in our most trying times.  Please feel free to reach out to me should you like to see more of them.

So there you have it, Faithful Reader, a look into some of the stuff that bounces around inside this head of mine.  I welcome your insights, thoughts or questions.

As always, my deepest appreciation for taking the time to read this,

Pastor Chuck

4 thoughts on “Sorry David Clayton-Thomas, I am a little afraid

  1. Thank you for making this very personal event for all of us more real may the God of comfort and strength guide us through this passage 🙏🏻

    Liked by 2 people

  2. David’s words, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You,” come to mind. Meaning, feeling afraid sometimes seems to be a given, reflected in this Scripture. So, each time we feel afraid, our trust can go deeper and deeper.

    I was reading a book recently that really soothed my heart about the actual dying part of dying, I recommend it to you. It’s To Heaven and Back by Mary C. Neal

    Liked by 1 person

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